The $300 Trillion Crisis

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The $300 Trillion Crisis

Abuse: Spotting Signs of Emotional Wear and Tear

Relationships with other people can often play the role of “bread and butter” in a person’s life. As social creatures, human beings are drawn to one another for a variety of biological and psychological reasons. It is an integral component of a person’s psychological development and emotional stability. However, the benefits are not entirely absolute. It is possible for people with extreme social misgivings, such as loners and hermits, to live without too much damage to their mental health. The isolation gets to you after a while, but there’s nothing really too fractured up there. As a sort of mirror to that reality, it is also quite possible for someone with numerous interpersonal relationships to find himself subjected to a menagerie of emotional abuse.

learn to spot signs of emotional abuse

Emotional abuse, contrary to popular misconception, is not a problem relegated only to women. Sure, women are supposedly more predisposed towards bawling out their emotions, but men can also feel. Abuse is not always apparent in the behavior of the victim, despite what the stereotypes would have you believe. Sometimes, it can be very difficult to detect whether someone has been put through any amount of abuse outside of the physical arena, particularly if the havoc was done emotionally or psychologically. In some cases, people take great pains to hide the obvious physical signs of an abusive relationship, for their own specific reasons. These reasons can cover everything from blind devotion to not-so-subtle hints of psychological masochism. With that in mind, what exactly is the best way for someone to spot a person who might be caught in such an abusive environment?

Well, provided that a person can see both people involved in the relationship, there are a few things that can be used. One person blaming the other for their emotional state is often a good indicator of something being wrong, though whether there is abuse or codependency is unsure. Placing blame on mistreatment is also a common feature of this sort of environment. Specifically, the abuser is placing blame on the abused for the negative treatment, typically in connection with some sort of “trigger.” For example, the abused might have performed an action that displeased the abuser, prompting appropriate “retribution.” Being pressured into activities that the abused does not want to perform is also common, with sexual activities being among the more prevalent ones.

Relationships with other people can also be used as an indication of whether or not someone is being abused. In particular, close friends and family members can often be good indicators. Whether by instinct or by simply knowing the person well enough, close friends and family can often be the first ones to note that something is not quite right with a person’s relationship with an abusive individual. How the abused is treated around friends and family, while not very common, can be a clear indicator as well. Abusive treatment that has gone on for an extended period tends to build a sense of comfort in the abuser, which sometimes causes him to more openly mistreat the abused. While the harm is more intense in private, verbal and subtle emotional abuse can be observed in interactions, particularly with family members of either party.

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How To Cope With And Survive An Abusive Boss

If you’ve grown worn-out and weary of the abusiveness of your employer and have experienced hatred, depression and all sorts of adverse emotions, here’s some things to keep in mind in the workplace.

Having a disgruntled boss can creat feelings of insignificance and despair that can be turned around at the right time. Quitting is not the answer you are most likely looking for unless something else was presented for immediate income. Remembering that everyone has an ego and is imperfect can help you to keep your tranquility of mind in testing and taxing times. You can help build up their ego and help the condition.

The first thing is trying keep professional in an unprofessional invironment. Their browbeating, insults, and time consuming arguments give way to a waste of energy, and giving the benefit of the doubt will defuse the anger lived by that person that has many underlying issues that prevent their very own happiness, due to the fact that a boss bully does not like him or herself in the first place.

Trying to take revenge of some sort and talking back in any way that causes encourages conflict will only impair the matter. Keep very cool, professional and instead of taking things into your own hands you can approach someone else in the company in a higher position if your job is worth a lot to you and you cannot continue to take aggressively regular abusive from boss.

An abuse of power is so very common among many control freaks and nutcases out there. Verbal abuse by boss is very commo in today’s economic hardship market.

Abuse from your employer may very well be something you have little control over, other than disconnecting from the situations totally. Disconnection is the best piece of advice I can personally give to anyone in a boss bullying situation. If you truly don’t care about the result of the work, then the result of the work, according the supervisor won’t matter to you, and you can go about your day with as short a memory as feasible, and get on with what you need to accomplish there.

If you have an entrepreneur mentality, I would suggest possibly developing one, to give yourself a solid plan B. Wherever you go in the corporate workplace potentially invites you into the abuse from boss world, and not give you rest from your stresses and better peace of mind that you need when undergoing employer verbal abuse on a steady basis.

There are many courses of action you can take, to taking precautionary and solution ambitious methods to abusive boss nonconformity, such as legal action that requires documentation as well as continuing to trying to change the thought process of your abusing boss with ego bettering flattery or some real reasoning with the boss that very well may not work in your favor.

So my very, very best advice is to take control and give yourself a true and valuable out from your abusive boss and get into a business owner mentality for financial freedom from not having to rely on a 2 week vacation in order to take a break from the everyday stresses of continued groundhog day repeats in the workplace.

Start with education and focus on what you want and how you are going to get there.

Even when I made terrible mistakes on the job, I did not lose my composure an lash out of get out of focus since I knew better things lie ahead for me as a took breaks and lunches just to be able to focus in on my entrepreneur methods for more continued education that was of real value to me as I could focus on the much bigger picture of what was going on in the workplace and the injustices of the corporate employee world.

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What to do if you are being abused spiritually

Many people in places of worship find it difficult to intervene even when they suspect  a person is being spiritually abused. spiritual abuse in this case means  a form of power and control being used by one in position of authority in the place of worship or under the pretense of a religious belief. This can include sexual  abuse , verbal, emotional, ritual,spousal abuse , what ever robs the other person of his or her diniigity,confidence,trust in leaders,in men in the church. intimidation may be used, economic abuse, brainwashing, using  isolation,coercion, threat, put downs, harrass shifting responsibility,blame,mind games, guilt trip,humiliation . False prophesy to hold people bound and not  leave or to donate more moneymore than they can afford under undue influence.

Those who are supposed to help,are in denial  or turn a blind eye because the abuser may be a person of influence , a big donor, child of the leader of the organisation or that of an influential member’s child . there have been cases where a deacon’s son impregnated a  faithful single parent’s daughter and even when the  victim is a minor ,there are cover ups and blames heaped on the minor, Threats , gossips, warnings  and possibility of excommunications.

Like Eli’s sons in the bible , there were lots of complaints but because of their position as the leaders’ children , nothing was done about it till judgment  came upon that family.

In most cases , parents are reluctant to seek help themselves from social services, or  from those who can help beacuse  they believe their chilren might be taken from them .Some members of the organisation that express their concern  might be treated  like  traitors, The abuser might be a saint, respected  in the place of worship  and transforms to  a tyrant that bullies his wife  and abused his family  .They command fear, and absolute obedience, using scripture out of context to suit their need.bully ,punish and terrorize  them.

Some have anger issues  and slap their wife or victim into submission.To  notice signs of extreme control and abuse, one should first realise that a place where there is no freedom of worship has something missing . most people join a place of worship for freedom, to be free from lonliness, rejection,to  be in a family where they can worship God together  with joy , peace of mind and grow in a safe environment and community.

Serecy  feeds the power and control of the abuser. if you are not confortable telling a member of the church or place of worship tell a friend , family member that  can  be trusted with confidentiality.How  do you know when an abuse starts and recognise them, and how do you get out of it before it begins to mess with your brain.

Signs of extreme  control in the church or place of worship are : to ask yourself this questions   are you made to look like there is something wrong with you  when you  say what  you are going through, are you made to look like  no body will belive you any way , are you made to belive you would  destoy the  reputation  of the organisation?,

Evaluation of the situation  to determine the least harmful environment for you and your family might need to be  done  so you dont  keep up you morale and self esteem down .Those who attend places of worship joined volutarily and must be free to leave  without  been made to feel guilty and stigmatised . They should not think all churches and places of worship are all the same . do a lot of research look before you join and if there is any thing illegal, unethical or unspiritual going on ,flee. Those who hve been through years of  spiritual abuse need to heal, emotionaly and if there was sexual abuse or ritual abuse  report should be made to the appropriate  organisation so that other people will not go through  the same  kind of abuse. as some might lead to death if it is witch hunting, or a ritual abuse.Counter – cult counselling is available, life coaching and other ways of dealing with unresolved  issues and healing emotional wounds. It is important to break the silence,stop the cycle of abuse.No one  has the right to batter you, physically or verbally

Abusive Relationship Help – Healing the Two Sides of Boundary Issues in Abusive Relationships

People say that domestic violence victims have serious boundaries issues…which they do. And so do the perpetrators that they live with. It comes with the territory of being in an abusive relationship.

You might think of it as two people having a tolerance for the actions of the other. Or, it can be seen as operant conditioning in play wherein one person conditions the other to surrender their boundaries for safety in the relationship. Abusive relationship help typically recognizes these boundary issues.

Abuser’s Lack of Boundaries

From his point of view, “If you are in relation to him, he has the right to all that is you.” For example, when he asks you a question, he expects you to deliver an answer—no matter what.

From his perspective, she merely appears as an extension of him. She does not come to the relationship with boundaries. To the contrary, should she interact with him as though she does have personal boundaries, then there are consequences.

These so-called consequences may be a continued tug-of-war, an attack on another front or some subtle punishment simply for her attempt to be herself. For when she is herself, he experiences it as his being slighted—the nerve of her not to deliver what he wants or expects.

Victim’s Lack of Boundaries

Now whether she came to the relationship with porous boundaries or developed them in the context of the abusive relationship is debatable. Some people will tell you she lost her boundaries to stay “alive” amidst domestic abuse.

Other people will say that she wouldn’t have gravitated to nor remained with an abusive partner if she had boundaries in the first place. The implication, of course, is that her lack of boundaries is what led to her staying in an abusive relationship. I think both are true.

Healing Boundaries Issues for the Abuser and for the Abused

A cornerstone of abusive relationship help involving effective domestic abuse counseling is teaching both people how to access, exercise and honor personal boundaries for themselves and for each other. This requires a relearning of interaction skills. And the good news is that it can indeed be done.

Both batterers and victims recognize that they are not responsible for the faulty learning that resulted in their boundary issues; rather, they are responsible to acknowledge and counteract their boundary issues. Their respective jobs are self-discovery, responsible interactive assertion and the ongoing honoring of one another, while honoring oneself.

If you are in an abusive relationship, which fails to honor and respect your personal boundaries, initiate a domestic violence intervention to ultimately break this dysfunctional dynamic before it spirals out of control.

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5 Risk Factors of Alcohol and Abuse Revealed

Have you ever wondered why some people struggle with alcohol and abuse, while others seem to be able to drink “normally”? The World Health Organization estimates that roughly 140 million people around the world struggle with alcohol and abuse. The National Institutes of Health estimates that 17.6 million Americans struggle with alcohol dependence and abuse. This article discusses 5 risk factors that have been linked to putting people in danger of becoming addicted to alcohol, which include emotional, psychological, genetic, age and gender. Alcohol and Abuse Risk Factor 1 – Emotional: A person can be tempted to turn to alcohol abuse as a coping device for emotional and stress related issues. One study published in a medical journal showed a link between stress and alcohol consumption and that abusing alcohol changes the levels of stress hormones and serotonin. Alcohol and Abuse Risk Factor 2 – Psychological: Researchers have shown that various psychological factors increase the risk of alcohol and abuse. Some of these include feelings of inadequacy, a strong need for praise and encouragement and having a short temper and being overly impulsive. Alcohol and Abuse Risk Factor 3 – Genetic: Researchers believe that family background plays an important role in alcoholism. Certain genetic factors affect the size-variation of right orbitofrontal cortex, which can be responsible for increased susceptibility to alcohol addiction. Alcohol and Abuse Risk Factor 4 – Age: Teenagers who have had a troubled childhood or who have had family history of manic-depressive illness, stressful life events or violence are more likely to be at risk of becoming an alcoholic. As well as according to SAMHSA those who start drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to become alcoholic than those after the age of 21. Alcohol and Abuse Risk Factor 5 – Gender: There has been studies that have shown that women that abuse alcohol are more likely to have had an alcoholic role model or spouse in their family, whereas men are at higher risk and this is not as relevant a risk factor. So these are some the most important risk factors for those that make the shift from simply using and abusing alcohol to becoming a full-fledged alcoholic, but rest assured there are so many factors that contribute to this. There is no magic formula or checklist that can tell you whether you or a loved one is at risk, but these can be affectively used to clarify if there is reason to be concerned. Who Is Impacted by Alcohol and Abuse? Let’s take a second and consider who is impacted by alcohol and abuse. Alcoholism is clearly not just restricted to the alcoholic, but rather extends to his family, friends, colleagues and eventually all the people around him. In the report Exposure to Alcoholism in the Family they stated that roughly 43% of the U.S. adult population has been exposed to alcoholism or problem drinking in the family. Either having grown up with an alcoholic, having an alcoholic blood relative, or marrying an alcoholic. The alcoholic can create havoc in the lives of these friends and loved ones, especially as they get closer to reaching their bottom. As their decisions become more and more controlled by their alcohol addiction, they start making worse decisions. Their abuse of alcohol continues to increase with their increase in tolerance and with that their judgment gets more clouded by the alcohol., which for some leads to drunk driving, public disturbances, poor hygiene, fired from jobs and severely damaged relationships. What Is The Solution? The hope is that the alcoholic is able to survive these consequences of their alcohol and abuse until they reach their bottom. When the alcoholic reaches their bottom, which is different for everyone, the shift can happen and recovery becomes a legitimate possibility. The risk is it will be too late, and that either health related consequences or accidents will take their life before they can save their life.

Are You in Danger? Recognizing the Signs of Emotional & Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship

An abusive relationship can mean more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you.  Emotional and psychological abuse, while not requiring hospital visits, can be as devastating as actual physical violence.  Many survivors find that emotional abuse is difficult to talk about and they often wonder if it is even serious because it isn’t visible, like bruises or broken bones.  Verbal and emotional abuse often takes place in private, where the abuser becomes a totally different person to the one in the public eye.

Be aware that Verbal abuse often escalates into physical abuse, starting with ‘accidental’ shoves, pushes and bumps as your partner attempts to ‘control’ you.  If your relationship drains your self-esteem, isolates you, ‘grinds’ you down, feels like a prison more than love, then it is likely that you are in an abusive relationship.

If your partner does any of the following, they should be ‘red flags’ that you have a problem:

• Blames you for his/her moods, failures and missed opportunities

• ‘Railroads’ conversations.  You can’t discuss your concerns for fear of things getting out of hand.

• Gives you no time to think, believing they already know everything about the way you think or feel

• Criticizes, humiliates and undermines and ridicules you, your family or friends.  This is usually done in private but sometimes not.  You become afraid of the person you are meant to love.

• Keeps you ‘in line’ by withholding money, the car, your phone or internet access.

• Has stolen from you and run up debt in your name

• Opens, reads and even destroys your mail and scours the phone bill for unauthorized calls

• Can be hurtful and obnoxious one minute, repentant and charming the next.

Your family or friends who are aware of your problem, most likely ask you “Why don’t you just leave?’  The reality is, as I am sure you are aware, that there are many barriers to finding safety in an abusive relationship.  Leaving can sometimes be dangerous and there are many factors that an abusive partner can use to keep the victim from leaving the relationship.  If you are being abused by your partner, you are more than likely feeling confused, afraid, angry and trapped.  All these emotions are quite normal.  You may even blame yourself for what is happening.  BUT, no matter what others might say, you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions – it is always their choice to be abusive!

The most important key to stopping this abuse is to recognize the verbal/emotional abuse that is being perpetrated against you, and only then can you start to take steps to stop it and bring healing to your relationship.  The reason why it is important for you to recognize the signs is because the abuser is normally in denial and therefore the responsibility for putting a stop to the abuse normally rests with you.

Please don’t ignore the warning signs – they can very quickly escalate to physical harm.  No matter what it takes, you need to talk out.  Get help from a counselor, your pastor, a trusted friend – there are many people out there to help.  You could start by CLICKING ON THIS LINK and signing up for the free 6 part mini course, which will help you understand and overcome these problems in your relationship. Please do it now before it is too late – you really have nothing to lose – Save my Marriage now.