How to deal with parents suffering from addictions
In today’s society, numerous families deal with many issues. Whether its financial problems, divorce, troubled teens or simply struggling to get by. But there is one major issue that many people choose to ignore.
Addictions, Over 23 million people in the United States are addicted to drugs or alcohol, and over 75% are men and women who have children. It’s a serious matter & this article is going to focus on how to deal with parents who have an addiction.
No matter how much a parent loves their child, or how good of a parent they are, when they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, they turn into a completely different person. Besides the fact that they are setting the wrong example for their children, they’re incapable of being responsible, & making the right decisions and that causes the child involved to be the “adult”. Whether it be making their own dinner, or taking care of younger siblings, or making sure their parents are safe. Parents may say hurtful things when they’re under the influence, & act like they don’t love their children. Then when they’re sober, they act like nothing ever happened.
No matter what is said when their influenced, make sure you don’t believe any of it. A lot of people say the truth comes out when you’re drunk, but that’s not always true. Many teens tend to blame themselves for their parents problem, thinking that maybe it’s something they did or said to cause their parents to turn to such harmful behavior. This is not true either. It may be your parent’s way of dealing with their life issues. A lot of children think “well if my mom or dad really loved me, they wouldn’t put me through this”. You can’t think that way. What many teens don’t understand is that when somebody has an addiction, that addiction overcomes everything. Whether it’s family, friends or their jobs.
They stop caring about a lot of things, because the only thing that makes them happy is drugs or alcohol. If it is really serious, then wait until your mom or dads is completely sober, & tell them how you feel. Tell them how you worry about them, how it makes you feel, how you blame yourself, how you don’t like the person they become, simply tell them that they need to get help.
You have to be careful with how you approach an addict, because in most cases, addicts don’t believe they have a problem, so they will feel as though you’re attacking them.
Let them know that you don’t approve of what they’re doing, & it’s ruining your relationship with them. Make sure you let them know that you love them unconditionally, & all you want is for them to be happy and healthy.
That won’t always work because you can’t help somebody that doesn’t want to help themselves. So if you’re in a situation where you’re parent refuses to get help. Just let it go. Always keep in mind that you did the best you could, & you tried your hardest. Remember that you can’t force somebody to change, & always think of how much your parents really love you.
Surround yourself with supportive friends, find a new hobby, and get involved with anything to help keep your mind off the situation. Try not to be around them when they are under the influence, and if you absolutely have to be around them, just think of how strong this will make you in the future.
What does Love Mean to You?
Love as stated by psychologists, is the basic needs of human, to give love as well as to be loved. There will be no greater power than the value of love. It is motivating people in doing things for another person, which normally isn’t usual with them. Some people gave up all of the things they have just for the love of someone. But when love is a very beautiful value on earth, a very essential thing in life, why is love so small in percentage rates? Why do so many of us hate each other? It’s really very simple. The true value of love, it’s greater than the feeling of being sentimental, and generous. This love, it’s a choice, decision that everyone must do. In demonstrating love, you will give your life for a person you truly love. Because before people had been born, the greatest love is in loving without thinking of anything in return. Love is selfless, sacrificially done for your love ones and to provide it for them forever.
A teenager who loves nowadays seems to interpret it with correlating to sexual desires. It can be seen all over the billboards, internet, television ads, magazines, newspapers, and almost everywhere you go. It’s advertised on dresses. Usage of this destroys innocence of youth as well as children, making so many messes in everyone’s lives. Sexual desires before marriage can stay. It’s easier to have, at anytime to whomever you like, without commitments as well as no responsibilities whatsoever. Teenagers or people that are not yet married need to follow the law of God. It’s designed for married people, by God. When he bring into existence a man and a woman differently in physical features, it’s to bring children and God planned it to become pleasurable. All of the things created by God have its purpose. And it also comes in order. The design of sexual pleasure needs to become enjoyable to the scope of love, married life and lifetime commitment. Beyond the scope, there will be lots of conflicts, chaos and confusions between people or unmarried couples. Sex that is outside your marriage is not building up your self worth, it will only destroy it. A person who is using it in order to purchase things, for emotional sake will end in physical bankrupt. Love is the foundation for a successful family life. It’s a very essential part of our society. Choosing your lifetime partner in marriage is a very crucial decision that anyone can make. Sexual desires, null of the intimacy, including porn is working addictively like any injections or pills. It’s a provider of fast change in our moods. It gives people some escape route, masking our pain inside.
All of the families, they are very unique; they’ve got its own values and the partners had
Its own experiences in life. So there will never be such things like perfect match or marriage or marriage match in heaven. Maybe, there are some principles to follow in order for married people to be happy with each other, all throughout their lives.
As a teenager, you need to understand that love comes if you love yourself and your love ones. Love is love not only because we keep on telling it, it’s by doing it. You also need to respect, respecting each one even if there’s disagreements. There will always be ways to solve a problem, through constant communication and to ask for forgiveness if we do something wrong. In marriage, both families need to have peace, having conflicts will result to chaos among children and mother or father in laws or your husband or wife. We feel good if we are free of guilt and we are forgiving people that caused us sins.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I am Ma. Sheila Escuro, a freelance writer by profession. I came from the Philippines. Writing has been my passion since childhood years and now i am taking advantage of it to become a professional writer, blogger and a business woman at the same time.
Writers Memoir is my blog for writers, enjoy reading
How To Over Come A Broken Heart
To be sixteen and in love is a wonderful thing. There is that magical feeling in the air where an in-love couple does not have a worry in the world, just the love and wanting to be with each other. But what happens if this fairy tale of yours ends in a wretched, twisted manner when one day you find that your beloved has cheated on you with another boy or girl? What will you do? What can you do? The emotional connection that you felt is torn apart leaving in its wake scars that transcend time. For few, these scars may not become evident until a later time, but eventually no one can escape infidelity unscathed. What is important to realize and understand is that cheating can happen to almost anyone in a relationship. Being young and having an entire life ahead to discover the world one day at a time makes this experience all the more difficult to deal with. The innocence of adolescence, especially a first love can make this scar cut much deeper into the heart.
The pain of being cheated upon would be indescribably hurtful more so for a young heart. It might even give rise to suspicions regarding one’s self-respect, trust, ego and self worth by creating raw nerves of these emotions. But there are ways in which it is possible to slowly overcome the feelings of loneliness and depression. It is natural for a teenager who has been cheated on to cling to his or her betrayer. The real mentality that exists in this irony is that the person who has been cheated on becomes far too skeptical of being able to trust another person and therefore they rely on believing that their partner will change. You need to realize that you did nothing wrong; you are not to blame for what has happened. Try to gain a perspective with others and enlist the help and support of friends who you can turn to for help.
You might also try to justify the act that has been committed against you. You might blame yourself thinking ‘If I had done this then perhaps…’what you need to remember is that there can be many reasons why a person would cheat. Perhaps he or she simply did not care or it could be some general lacking empathy. There are a few who cheat because they are immature, selfish or sympathy seekers. Most cheaters get motivated by their own needs. In other words, they are driven by one familiar force, the force of self-satisfaction. They do not think of the consequences and pain their actions of infidelity will cause to you. What you need to do is remove any doubt from your mind as to what might have happened if you had done things differently. It does not matter what you did or what you could have done, as sooner or later a cheater would have cheated and taken advantage of your kindness.
To be able to overcome the entire heart-breaking episode, you need to have an open mind which will help you understand just what a relationship means. It can be a motivational factor if the cheated person ponders on it in a constructive manner. It can help you focus on certain areas of responsibility that will allow a relationship to survive infidelity. Remember that even the best novelists of romance novels and relationship self help books are victims of their literary experiences. Being the bigger person and looking at the bigger picture will help you gain a larger perspective of this big and complicated world we live in. If you are comfortable with it, try and talk to him/her and find out why he/she did it. Remember that for the cheater, the experience can also be an eye opener. Everyone realizes what they have lost only after they lose it. A cheater may enjoy his occasional bout or fling of cheating with another person, however deep down there is a conscience that questions his morality. A teen cheater will grow up realizing the mistake he has made and so he will value and understand what a relationship is in future.
In conclusion, if you are a victim of infidelity or you know someone who is, bear in mind that there are bound to be heart breaks. However, you should understand and realize that this experience is a part and parcel of growing up into the world and moving from one level to another. Eventually, you will get over this tragedy and through the support of friends and family you will move on. If you spend too much time pondering on something that might have been, you will miss out on all the wonderful things the journey of life continues to amaze us with. Love is one such emotion that surpasses all obstacles and will meticulously help transform everyone into an adult.
This is a very helpful video. enjoy.
